One week in my new life. Ups, downs and all arounds. Just as I would expect it to be. I'm seeing how much I am/was appreciated. What I have to offer. That I love a challenge and I draw my strength from persevering over every challenge.
One thing I discovered that I need to work on is, with certain people, I willingly downplay what I endure. Life is a work in progress and this will be one of the items I work on.
I have had so many people in my new neighborhood introduce themselves and talk to me. They are very friendly and I am thankful and feeling excited to get to know them better. I saw some fancy old hubcaps in a garage half a block away where two middle aged...well, older than me...gentleman warmly greeted me from the driveway. Pretty sure they were having a brewsky...think I might join them next time they're out and see about these hubcaps and what other treasures they may have. I'm sure dad would love to join me, too.
Life is not without challenge, but it has no limits. Don't settle. Push. Search. Go outside of your box. It's SO worth it. I double dog dare you.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
I did it. I moved home. After twelve. Long. Years. So happy. Not without challenge or struggle. Ongoing, actually. But, totally worth it.
Let me tell you a secret. Life isn't all puppies and rainbows. Far from it, actually. Starting at a very young age for most. Later for those who are a bit luckier. I do pity those who have a blessed life, though. How can you know what life has to offer if you never have to experience anything but bliss? No matter.
I lay here in my new old house. It's slightly scary, especially compared to the house I just sold/left, but I've found comfort here. And it's home. And my biggest regret today is that I did not go outside and greet my river. Isn't it ... awakening, that when you live by a river, lake, ocean or stream that you feel this connection to the water? Since forever, I have a connection with the lake I grew up on and my daugher knows that when I die, I am to be cremated and my ashes given back to my lake. The river pulled me to this house. Just like a fire, you can watch a body of water for no good reason. Just watch it and be enamored of it. It has life. It is a presence to be reckoned with. If you underestimate its presence, you will likely be reminded of it in a severe way. Respect the energy of every presence, human or otherwise. Else you be foolish and taught a lesson.
For now, I enjoy what I thought would never come. I allow myself to sit in the reality of it. I hear. I smell. I see. I love. Always love. Without love. Of land. Of family. Of mere existence. There is nothing.
Let me tell you a secret. Life isn't all puppies and rainbows. Far from it, actually. Starting at a very young age for most. Later for those who are a bit luckier. I do pity those who have a blessed life, though. How can you know what life has to offer if you never have to experience anything but bliss? No matter.
I lay here in my new old house. It's slightly scary, especially compared to the house I just sold/left, but I've found comfort here. And it's home. And my biggest regret today is that I did not go outside and greet my river. Isn't it ... awakening, that when you live by a river, lake, ocean or stream that you feel this connection to the water? Since forever, I have a connection with the lake I grew up on and my daugher knows that when I die, I am to be cremated and my ashes given back to my lake. The river pulled me to this house. Just like a fire, you can watch a body of water for no good reason. Just watch it and be enamored of it. It has life. It is a presence to be reckoned with. If you underestimate its presence, you will likely be reminded of it in a severe way. Respect the energy of every presence, human or otherwise. Else you be foolish and taught a lesson.
For now, I enjoy what I thought would never come. I allow myself to sit in the reality of it. I hear. I smell. I see. I love. Always love. Without love. Of land. Of family. Of mere existence. There is nothing.
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